A couple years ago a friend of mine got a New York City Teaching Fellowship to teach in the public schools here. The subject she chose to teach was mathematics because, as she said, "In math there's only one correct answer." That statement came to mind while I was sitting in deep contemplation pondering a package of Charmin, a product that Procter & Gamble discreetly refers to as "bathroom tissue" but which in our genteel household goes by the name papier de twalay , as in "Hey, who left one square of papier de twalay on the roll?" Charmin comes in four distinct roll sizes, called Regular, Big, Giant, and Mega. No, these sizes do not accomodate four different sizes of bums. The Big roll has twice as many sheets as the Regular, the Giant has 2.5 times as many sheets as Regular, and Mega has four times as many, as shown on this convenient chart: The Mega roll is so big that it generally requires an adapter to fit in the typical puny papier de twalay dispenser. Each sheet on the roll,
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